how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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