I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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