Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize