Whats the glycemic index on semen?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
