This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
