when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
