What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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