I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize