Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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