I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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