the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm like, not good at living.
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