oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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