called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.