OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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