sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
