Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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