My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's Friday. Sex?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
