yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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