it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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