6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
