He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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