but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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