Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
