I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize