new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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