I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
