He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
