You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Enjoy the penises
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
