I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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