I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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