When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
