I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize