i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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