I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
