We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
