just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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