you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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