Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
