my mouth tastes like poor choices
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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