It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
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Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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