Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
