the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
