Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
