You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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