Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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