I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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