i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
