I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
