we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
third nipple confirmed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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