We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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