Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
