You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
