So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
