How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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