i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.