when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.