After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"