i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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