I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
